Traditionally I get drafts of Personal Statements from prospect Tier 1 Exceptional Talent Visa applicants to read and share my own opinion about their documents. Today I decided to make one of my feedback public. Since the problems that I have found in this statement, are quite frequent, I decided to publish it here too so more people will get an extra clue what to write in these incredibly important documents. Surely, all confidential information is anonymized.
Good morning, My Reader.
Thanks for your email. Your background is truly impressive and you have the interesting experience of work in the banking industry.
But after reading your Draft, I must mention the following points to improve it:
Incorrect word count
You have over 1800 words in your statement, but you must have only 1000 words (or it is around 7000 characters). You have to cut the number of words since you will not have a chance to put your Personal Statement into the field of the form as a whole.
Avoid too many technical details
You can try to do this cutting the number of words via deleting too many details of your previous roles. Specifically, technical details.
Your point of writing about money equivalent of improvements that you have done – it is great! If you know that your employer got extra thousands of dollars thanks to your work – write about this. So instead of writing what you are/were responsible for – write what benefit have you brought to your Company. It will influence positively on the overall assessment
Planning of your Future is important
As of now, 75% of your Draft is about your past and only 25% – about the future. It has to be at least 50:50. I mean the Assessment Panel is interested more in your precise plans after you will get a visa. They can find the details of your previous roles in the CV. As you know, CV is one of the obligatory parts of Tier 1 Exceptional Talent Visa application. But what do you want to do in the UK – this point has to be clearly stated in the Personal Statement.
As of now – I see you plan to apply for a job after obtaining a visa. Yes, it is fine but related to the next my thought, presented below this one.
Extra-benefits for the tech community
What extra-curriculum activities are you doing to demonstrate your exceptional talent? What achievements have you got? What conferences have you attended as a speaker? What articles do you publish? How do you influence your current tech community with your truly deep expertise in fintech?
I did not find too much information about this (apology if I miss something). But this is the core information you must provide.
This visa route was not created to increase the number of employees who go to work and back. The UK is interested in people who are doing an extra effort and after their routine everyday job – do their best in influencing positively on the tech community. It is possible either via organizing events, participating in them, publishing your materials or sharing your knowledge in any other way. Hence, more people will get something out of your huge expertise.
So Tier 1 Exceptional Talent Visa is not only about contributing to the UK’s budget via paying taxes or any other fees. It is also about positive impact on digital technologies in the country. You must write about this.
I hope my thoughts were helpful to you but if you have any questions – let me know.
I will do my best to share my knowledge and experience with you.